Manifestette

For the last two weeks, my Tuesdays and Thursdays consisted of working from 7:00 - 3:30, picking up my woman, heading straight to the gym for a 20 minute jog, then hustling home for protein shake and yogurt, then hustling off to jujitsu. If all goes well, I have about 30 minutes in the early evening that I could call, "free time." It is somewhat hectic, but it's been active, healthy, and thus, constructive.

Today, though, I forgot my workout gear at home. When I got here, I had already lost whatever motivation I might have had to get on the treadmill. Using the insane Tues/Thurs schedule as an excuse, I sat on my ass. As jj approached, I got up and got my gear together. I then had a bizarre panic attack in which I was suuuper concerned that I would be unable to tie my belt correctly. So I used up some of my travel time finding this instructional video online. Then it was clear that I was going to be late so I started to use the excuse that being late is somewhat disrespectful to the class and the teachers to keep from going. Then I realized how selfdestructive I'd been throughout the afternoon and cowboyed the fuck up and headed out. I was late to class and missed out on some cool throws and falls, but was glad I went, none the less (I learned how to break a neck, colapse a trachea and choke somebody into unconciousness!!).

The moral of the story? I need to stay strong and remember that all the progress I have made physically and mentally over the last 4 months has been awesome. I must also remember that I have to keep striving to improve.