B'ware the Interweb
Do NOT let the internet replace your real life! Its a tool, yes, and a toy. You can find people from all over the world with similar interests, hobbies, and psycological disorders. Or you can find people from all over the world pretending to have similar interests, hobbies, and psycological disorders. 30 Helens agree: 99% of all the internet lesbians having cybersex at any given moment are dirty old men in their 40s!
You can pay your bills online and re-register your car, but a vast majority of the internet is just one big fantasy. You can find whatever you're into on the 'net from gerbil-stuffing philanthropist bisexuals to the really freaky stuff like saltwater taffy pullers. The people we meet on the internet and the people we present ourselves as on the internet are no exception. That's why there are no men on the internet with 2" peckers and stamina issues. They've all got 48" prehensile wangs with the gift of speech and a PC muscle that could crack walnuts if they weren't clenched in a heroic battle to ensure a fortnight-length bone session.
The friendships you develop online are not made of the same stuff as those made in real life. The internet is a friendship coffee filter: You get all the tastie, Colombian, acidic, caffeinated goodness without a single grain of coffee. In short, you get the essence of coffee. A friendship developed in real life is like a French Press (say what you will about their politics, the fuckers know how to eat!), You get all the tastie, Colombian, acidic, caffeinated goodness, the stuff you want, but you also have to deal with the grinds, something in which you are not necessarily interested.
Its the wierd grinds your friends leave in the bottom of your metaphorical cup that make a relationship strong. Overcoming differences or conflict adds a level of intimacy and complexity that we can never get from internet buddies. I.B.s can be shut off, ignored, or deleted. And since they're as much a fantasy as getting to manage a Dairy Queen for a summer or finding Sasquatch, you can never truly trust the input you're getting (have you learned nothing from The Matrix?!).
I guess I should end this post before I start coming to each of your houses to shake you by the shoulders and make sure you're not spending too much time online. I'd like to paraphrase Chuck Palahniuk to pinch this ripe turd of a post right off:
You are not your Logon Name. You are not your Avatar. You are not your fucking Emoticon.
Rev. Joshua
You can pay your bills online and re-register your car, but a vast majority of the internet is just one big fantasy. You can find whatever you're into on the 'net from gerbil-stuffing philanthropist bisexuals to the really freaky stuff like saltwater taffy pullers. The people we meet on the internet and the people we present ourselves as on the internet are no exception. That's why there are no men on the internet with 2" peckers and stamina issues. They've all got 48" prehensile wangs with the gift of speech and a PC muscle that could crack walnuts if they weren't clenched in a heroic battle to ensure a fortnight-length bone session.
The friendships you develop online are not made of the same stuff as those made in real life. The internet is a friendship coffee filter: You get all the tastie, Colombian, acidic, caffeinated goodness without a single grain of coffee. In short, you get the essence of coffee. A friendship developed in real life is like a French Press (say what you will about their politics, the fuckers know how to eat!), You get all the tastie, Colombian, acidic, caffeinated goodness, the stuff you want, but you also have to deal with the grinds, something in which you are not necessarily interested.
Its the wierd grinds your friends leave in the bottom of your metaphorical cup that make a relationship strong. Overcoming differences or conflict adds a level of intimacy and complexity that we can never get from internet buddies. I.B.s can be shut off, ignored, or deleted. And since they're as much a fantasy as getting to manage a Dairy Queen for a summer or finding Sasquatch, you can never truly trust the input you're getting (have you learned nothing from The Matrix?!).
I guess I should end this post before I start coming to each of your houses to shake you by the shoulders and make sure you're not spending too much time online. I'd like to paraphrase Chuck Palahniuk to pinch this ripe turd of a post right off:
You are not your Logon Name. You are not your Avatar. You are not your fucking Emoticon.
Rev. Joshua
posted by Ueberyak at 1:13 AM
6 Comments:
"You are not your Logon Name. You are not your Avatar. You are not your fucking Emoticon."
YEAH! I celebrate your awesomeness, for this phrase is glorious!
g.
Wow! I Wonder what brought on this little rant.
Very good advice though.
you mean you all aren't my best friends in the whole world?
thanks for ruining my fantasy life!
Yeah, in D'Pig's fantasy life he has friends. What a dreamer....
I think it's kind of been building since the late '90s but I dunno what finally prompted my to express the thought. It was really late and I was feeling surly.
BAH!!
Who told you all this crap?
Certainly, you jest.
If it wasn't for the internet I would scarcely have a life at all.
Besides which, who says one searches for reality? That is the very last fucking thing I want to find.
Stevie Nicks said it best..."Sweet little lies..."
(Of course, it's a wonder I could actually HEAR the words, what with her butt cheeks down over my ears like that...)
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