Acoutrements
For many years, now, I have been jealous of smokers. Not because they're destroying their lungs and slowly giving themselves cancer, but because of how cool smoking is. As a smoker you get all kinds of accessories like Zippos, cigarette cases, extra long filters, etc. So about a year and a half ago I bought an A-Team cigarette case from eBay but I knew I wasn't going to put cigarettes in it. I can fit the better part of a pack of gum in there, though. So I carry it off and on and everybody who's anybody that has seen it has been unable to say no to the chewy goodness within.
Today I found myself chewing a tasty piece of Spearmint Extra (not my favorite gum, which is Ice Breakers Spearamint, but good, none the less) and wishing I had a humidor for my desk in which I could keep a bunch of gum. I wouldn't just dump them in there, I'd lay them in there lovingly, making nice, orderly stacks. Then I realized that what I really want is a swanky mansion with a Den. Because THAT'S where you keep a kickass humidor. It would be all stylish in there with animal heads and lots of wood finish. I can imagine it now....
"You see, Mr. Mendoza, I have never been one to take betrayal lightly. You do realize that you have betrayed me, do you not? Of course you do. Mind if I chew? Can I offer you a piece of gum? No? Loyalty is the number one trait, Mr. Mendoza, that I look for in an employee and you have let me down. You not only make me look bad to my enemies, but to my other men, as well. This is a shame I can only rectify by taking your life, Mr. Mendoza. Many men in my position would not dirty their hands with a simpleton like yourself, but I am a man of character. You should be honored."
ka-BOOM!!
ka-BOOM!!
ka-BOOM!!
Today I found myself chewing a tasty piece of Spearmint Extra (not my favorite gum, which is Ice Breakers Spearamint, but good, none the less) and wishing I had a humidor for my desk in which I could keep a bunch of gum. I wouldn't just dump them in there, I'd lay them in there lovingly, making nice, orderly stacks. Then I realized that what I really want is a swanky mansion with a Den. Because THAT'S where you keep a kickass humidor. It would be all stylish in there with animal heads and lots of wood finish. I can imagine it now....
"You see, Mr. Mendoza, I have never been one to take betrayal lightly. You do realize that you have betrayed me, do you not? Of course you do. Mind if I chew? Can I offer you a piece of gum? No? Loyalty is the number one trait, Mr. Mendoza, that I look for in an employee and you have let me down. You not only make me look bad to my enemies, but to my other men, as well. This is a shame I can only rectify by taking your life, Mr. Mendoza. Many men in my position would not dirty their hands with a simpleton like yourself, but I am a man of character. You should be honored."
ka-BOOM!!
ka-BOOM!!
ka-BOOM!!
posted by Ueberyak at 12:31 PM
1 Comments:
So, this guy, Mendoza...is he some sort of Mexican or something?
Sounds like a Mexican name.
Of course, there ARE all sorts of Mexicans...from Mexico, Puerto Rico, Cuba, Panama, and of course, Los Angeles.
The ones in Los Angeles don't have to sneak across the border.
Filipinos are nearly Mexican. Well, at least they talk funny. And I think "Mendoza" COULD be a Filipino name.
Which brings up yet another question, now that you mention it...how come Filipinos come from the Philippines?
I thought they came from Mexico.
Guess not...
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