Confessions of a Madman

So I decided to stop consuming caffeine the other day. I've been contemplating it for some time as I've been having irregular sleep patterns and quality thereof for the last couple of weeks. I'm also super paranoid about getting kidney stones, even though I drink at least a liter of water every day.

This is the beginning of Day Two.

It's weird because I didn't know just how much I rely on it until I cut it out. As I was driving into work today I thought, "Wow, pretty soon my ass end is going to fall out. I'll just have a cup of coffee and everything'll be fine." Well, I'm not drinking coffee now so that theory's out the window.

I'll keep you posted.

Hey, Cool

I managed to make the body of the blog wider. I had to fish around in the html for a while but I got it. Sweet.

A New Hobby

So today we were at the local drugstore. I always go there and check out the toys for quality action figures like these handsome devils.

I found some good Marvel characters like a Nightcrawler and a pretty decent Hulk.

Today, though, they didn't really have any awesome figs. They had a Grey Hulk that didn't look all that sweet and they had a Dr. Strange, a character of which I am not a very big fan.

I did see some other action figures but I don't roll with shit like Pokeman and Gundam. They also had some figs that are something of a staple in any drugstore's toy aisle: generic G.I. Joe knock-offs. They come from crazy companies in China or Taiwan and they're never quite up to snuff. Sometimes they're poorly painted, or they're wearing funny hats. I saw a police officer that came with a Soviet-made AK-47 and an Israeli-made Uzi. Huh? That's crazy shit. Everybody knows most American S.W.A.T teams carry H-Ks and the like. I saw another guy that was just wearing some crazy headband, and another that was wearing black, hot pink and neon green. What soldier wears neon, ever?

I became enamoured with these horrific figs! Their cheap crapulance was somehow intoxicating and I would have bought all three, but they were $2.99 a piece! That seemed a bit high for such a terrible product. But then my soon-to-be-sister-in-law (I believe that's the technical term), Rel-Bot pointed out this magnificent bastard.

Action Soldier don't take no shit and he sure as fuck don't fuck around. Just take a moment to dig 'im.

Yeeeah...Hell yeah...

There are a lot of things that make Action Soldier awesome and I'm here to show you what they are. Then I'll tell you about my new hobby.

Alright, what makes a man a Man? It's the way he dresses, the way he acts, and how sultry and supple his lips look. You see those lips? Soft and kissable, no?

Max Factor, are you out there? Action Soldier should be in a commercial with Sarah Jessica Parker. He's just that pretty.

Also, if he's wearing a camo hat, he should definitely have it cocked jauntily.

Juuust so...

The soldier on the go, the true Action Soldier, should have a large butterfly collar with which to hang-glide in and out of what the veterans call, "The Shit."

I don't know if you noticed all the sweet shit this guy comes with but one of the most important items an Action Soldier can have is a sweet side arm. This one's a revolver and it'll put a hole the size of a bowling ball through your commy pinko face you socialist fucking faggot.

He comes with some other guns with which to fight your god-hating, hippy, nhilist life style. After all, sometimes Action Soldier needs to mow down a bunch of protesting, pacifist bunny fuckers. Don't we all? So that's why he's got these baaaad ass, fully automatic puppies.

Hold on, let me make some room so you can see his arsenal.

Sorry about the shitty state of this photo, but there's no way in hell I'm going to open this baby and destroy the resale value just to provide a better view. But what's worth noting between these guns and Action Soldier's revolver side arm is the size. Scroll up, I'll wait. See how the revolver is roughly proportionate to Action Soldier's hand? See how the rest of his arsenal definitely isn't even remotely proportionate to Action Soldier's hand? Awesome.

It should be pretty obvious by now that I am way, way into collecting shitty action figures. They're friggin' hilarious, for one, and they're super cheap! I'm just glad to start with such a classy, sassy, ass-kicking machine like Action Soldier.

Action Soldier, AWAAAAY!!!

It's ALL Comfort Food

Work has been stressing me out lately. Mainly it's because I'm getting more and more responsibility, which is absolutely fine with me since it helps me do my job better and be more of an asset to the company. But with that responsibility comes these crazy grey areas where there is not a simple or even concrete solution to the problem/question. Now my boss, Dr. J., has been working in our position for several years so he's got plenty of background info on just about anything that pops up. That is, he's likely dealt with it before. I, on the other hand, have been concentrating mainly on honing my technical skills over the last year or so, and have not dealt with these types of issues. Dr. J.'s happy to help whenever I ask, but I prefer to deal with as much of it on my own as possible, looking to him when I'm stuck.

I don't want to go on any longer about my work situation, though, because I don't want to dwell and I'm not really complaining, either. Mainly I'm using it as an intro to the real topic at hand:

Food.

I like it. I like it a lot. By no means does it rule my life, I don't sit around thinking about grub. But when it's time to eat, I'm glad. I like the act, the ritual, of eating and I like the way it makes me feel psychologically and physically. Since I began my more-or-less healthy lifestyle in September, this hasn't changed a bit. In fact, I feel even better during meal times when I both enjoy the food and know I'm putting healthy stuff into my gut.

Today I was a bit stressed out by this and that. Maybe I'm alone here, but some days I wake up and have kind of a temporary predisposition for stress. It's like my brain says, "I will allow us to be easily stressed out today. It's not up to you, Josh, don't fight it. You'll only get more stressed." So as soon as anything even remotely stressful came up, I was Stressed. Then lunch rolled around. I went down to the cafeteria, got a nice chicken sammich with some quality potato salad and came back to my cube. Within the first bite I felt better. I didn't do any work, I just ate my tastie sammich and relaxed. By the time I finished my meal, I felt completely stress free. That's when I realized that just about all food is comfort food. I wasn't eating mac 'n' chee or clam chowder or freshly baked bread. Just a chicken sammich.

Don't get me wrong, I am by no means a foodaholic. I can leave foodahol alone whenever I want, but there's something that goes beyond just feeding the machine for me. It's conciously taking time out to take care of myself that is psychologically appealling. You don't get too many chances to do that at work.

So the next time you find yourself hunkered down in front of a tastie chili-dog or ceasar salad, you thank that tastie treat, maybe have it analyze your dreams or just tell it about your day. You'll feel better.