Another Level

Today, at aproximately 5:00 pm, Lynell and I will be faster than we have ever been. We will attain new levels of speed, agility and endurance. We will be wearing our kick-ass new shoes. At our increased speed, food will taste different, everything will look different, and the time we spend with our friends will be limited by their ability to keep up. With our New Balance 898: Explosivo model shoes, we will be great.

You may now return to your mundane, normal-paced lives.
See you in the future, suckos.

Rev. Joshua